Moonrise

Aheh this is my first post and I have many things to say so this is going to be a very long post so... forgive me if my thoughts are not organized as some of them are like 2, not right, now 3 months ago.

Ok, the Great Revolution started when during Graduation Day, I noticed how everyone was feeling nostalgic and happy and taking photographs and I was just standing there with my bunch of friends feeling numb...

On that day, me and Nooby discussed in MSN and started the Great Revolution, that we will "mix more with girls", "take more initiative when doing stuffs or talking to people" and "become more sociable". To start it off, I was someone who did nothing except studying and playing computer video games so I started by listening to music.

I immediately fell in love with Taylor Swift because I watched "You Belong with me" music video, and "You Belong with me" rocks! Ok I have to admit she was gorgeous and I was kinda moved by the plot, and a little bit envious. ^^ Then as I listened more to her songs and watching her MTVs, I find out more about life and the meaning of it. I realised that I have wasted 16 years of me life on computers and now I have became and ignorant kiddo without any life skills. Its kinda like attaining enlightenment. I discover more about myself and what I could have improved on. My mood and feelings become more complicated. There was this feeling of loneliness and inferiority complex. I can't really talk to people, and I'm rather clumsy a doing things. Sometimes I cry at night without knowing the reasons why. I became more sensitive and vulnerable. Small comments and setbacks upset me easily. I wanted to be more independent. I wanted to contribute to the society in every little ways. I wanted to make people happy with small acts of kindness. I wanted to earn my own money instead of using my mum's. I wanted to be less wimpy. I wanted to cut down on my computer time. I wanted to be more sociable. I wanted to be better at doing things. I have a clique but sometimes I felt left out although I am actually not. It must be those saddening or inspirational songs such as "Teardrops on my Guitar", "Fifteen" and "A Place in this World" that is making me feel this way. I feel lost and aimless. My mind is blank. I wanted to do volunteering, learn guitar, learn web design, listen to music, watch movies, read books, everything but theres never time. Nowadays, I cry secretly when my brothers ganged up against me. I am also more particular about my physical appearance. I don't go for style, but I must look presentable at the location I'm going. Because I feel that presentation says alot about oneself. I don't encourage sloppy or skimpy presentations.

My first resolution is that I shall go out with my clique more often. But that means I have less time for things I wanted to do at home, such as music, movies, books, Facebook, blogs, Taylor Swift news and YouTube. Another change is that I try to sleep by 11 at night and wake up at 8 in the morning. This is because I want to conserve my day time. I also started working for Blues' father's factory and to earn some extra cash and to gain some experience. I thought that keeping myself busy would distract my mind from all those worrying problems. But I was wrong. Whenever I makes mistake or works too slowly, I feel down again. Although Blues assured me that he made mistakes worse than me and the outcome wasn't that terrible, I couldn't help feeling guity and useless. Well... I guess I should take a break now, partly because I'm too tired to continue and partly because I was affected by this touching film on tv... Cya...

Yay I'm back after 15 days of "doing nothing" (playing skirmish with AI in Company of Heroes).
To continue, I soon left for a 8D6N holiday in Korea + 2D1N bonus in Shanghai. Yippee because this is the first time I had board a plane or has actually ventured anywhere further than Indonesia (Batam). And after coming back, I have decided not to go on a holiday anymore because it makes you miserable... I will go on the details because I actually wrote a log about my experience in Korea...

Well I wanted to copy my daily log into this blog but I realised that if I do so, my blog will look like more than a compo or an essay or a book, so to sum it all...

1. Being on the airplane is exciting only for the first few times in your whole life.
2. Korea is cold, but not humid enough to snow frequently... Sadded, we never seen snow...
3. Food in Korea can be pretty unappetizing after some time.
4. Not enough pictures/videos to share my full experiences in Korea to others or for my own memories, but enough for my father to start complaining about "not enough batteries!" or "don't touch my camera". ( I don't have a personal camera)
5. Not enough money for us to buy more souvenirs back home, or to do more memorable stuffs, but enough for my parents to buy things such as ginseng candy and Washing Ball Power.
6. Not enough freedom from tour group and/or parents.
7. Ignorance is not bliss! Especially when you are on a holiday... It's never nice to miss out on things...
8. I will never stay in anywhere else other than home ever again. Because of my Big 4 Phobia: phobia of being in enclosed room; phobia of being alone without anyone to lookout for me or save me; and phobia of the paranormal; and therefore phobia of... TOILETS!
9. Skiing is no fun at all. Well... only when you keep falling at the start, and then later on, you are too good to stay in the 'beginner zone' but too noob to go on the full course *stares up at the mountain*.
10. Lastly... a big secret... do not continue if you have a weak heart... is that.... during my holiday in Korea... I had a crush with someone in the same tour group!!! But I shall not elaborate more, come to think of it, I'm disgusted by own behaviour ( you should have read my daily log).

Anyway soon after I returned from Korea and after a few outings with friends, I've thought through. The Great Revolution for myself ended officially with no celebrations or fireworks. It means that staying myself is the best! But I shall improve myself in some areas, and to keep up in times, though I'm pretty much the best person I have known ( sorry to continue the traditions of Zee Clique - being ego!). From now onwards I shall make my blog less boring for the benefit of those mentally sane. And less emoing. Aren't you happy, Blues?

Then comes the day of the release of 'O' Levels result, DARN IT HOW CAN I GET ONLY 5 A1s AND ONLY A L1R5 OF 8, RAW SCORE???!!! SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT... BUT OVERALL NOT TOO DEVASTATED... MY PARENTS ARE OK, BUT I CAN'T HELP FEELING UNSATISFIED AND A LITTLE GUILTY... well, at least I think I will be going to ACJC with Tomato, AJ, Nooby, SH ( the other one, not you Blues!)... byes Blues and Clique!!! T.T

Yay I nearing the end of my first post, only a few more paragraphs to go!!! Just want to talk about a few significant events within the last few weeks from today (25 Jan 2010).

Firstly... the Karaoke session at the Warren (quite some time ago). First of all, I did not intend to go until Tomato persuaded me to go and the others convinced me by saying that I did not have to sing, just eat the food and relax... Well, IT WAS TERRIBLE! PART OF ME WANTED TO SING, THE OTHER HALF DON'T WANT TO SING, AND THEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE FORCING ME TO SING, MAKING ME MORE RESOLVED NEVER TO SING. Well... actually if "Fifteen" was there, I probably would have sung, because I practised singing Fifteen quite a number of times... I'm not really quite ready for "You Belong With Me" or "Teardrops of my Guitar" yet... AND SO I FELT SO EMO THAT I DECIDED TO WALK HOME ALONE, IGNORING MY SECOND AND THRID BIG PHOBIA. But a thing to gain - after all the exposure to Chinese songs, my level of appreciation for Chinese songs and the Chinese Language has been increased. Well I don't like some of the rapping songs by Jay Chou or JJ Lin, in fact I don't like raps at all; they are like zombies mumbling words out in a very rapid rate. Only someone with hypersonic supernatural ability that has listened to a rap song almost a thousand times and has even bothered to check the internet for lyrics will be able to memorize the song by heart. Well, I prefer Chinese songs that are more heartfelt and sung by girls... Anyway, I will probably never ever dance or sing karaoke in my whole life... never! ( Well the one at prom night is not called dancing, its called randomly jumping around like lunatics) Muahahahah.

Zzz... Kai distracted me with some videos of Eastern Fronts so I shall probably go play Eastern Fronts now...
Byes

Moonrise patch ver. 1.0.0.3