The Moment of Thoughtfulness...

I wanted to quote some words of wisdom either from the mouth of myself or some influential person but I guess I forgot what I wanted to quote...

My Terms results are horrible... here is a summary of what I have gotten back (all 100%):

H2 Biology: 60.7
H2 Chemistry: 35
H2 Math: 50
H2 History: 41.3 (Woot S instead of U!)
H1 General Paper: --> 63 (Highest in class!)
H1 Chinese --> 63.8 (Cl > BI???)

In conclusion, my language subjects suddenly do better than my science subjects. Weird.

On top of all the excitement of getting the Captain-ship, I can start to feel the stress and anxiety of having to manage the team and studies. With the responsibilities of a Captain being handed on to me, I could feel an extra burden on my back. I was told to be more "hard" on the team and don't let them have things on their  own way, to ensure discipline. But for me, to be more autocratic is a very difficult thing to do, especially when I have to worry about undermining the relationship between myself and my teammates. Fortunately, the unhappiness of our vice-captain was really just my imagination going too wild. He is really just fine.

Switched to serious mode these few weeks... Too many emo stuffs besieging my esteem... Focused on stuffs that are really important such as health, studies, volleyball and friendship. Managed to forgo Facebook and Neopets for more than entire week, congratulations. I have finally came up with an argument as to why I don't need Facebook: If I have to resort to virtual social networking to improve my social life, then I am a loser and I would rather do it in real life. Besides, what good can Facebook do if it only makes you (me) unhappier?

Fell sick on Sunday night... Influenza. Now is the flu season and many people are falling ill... take good care of your health. Missed dreadful Monday lessons, thankfully but returned on Tuesday to the hectic school life. Sianz... but necessary. I must really get to a good University and attain an Honors Degree, if not it would be worthless anyway.

Sorry if I sounded so emo today... I don't know why too... It must have been today's event. This afternoon our school had a leadership workshop for everyone and me and her happened to be in the same module: "Team-building". Her class sat in the same row as our class but her class is in the center of the LT, while ours is at the right. Throughout the workshop, I have been observing her surreptitiously (not compromising on my attention on the speaker, as I need to learn how to be an effective leader as well), seeing how happy, how cheerful she was with her class. Suddenly, this feeling of hopelessness, of defeat overwhelmed me upon the sudden realization that perhaps me and her weren't made to be together. I was ready to let go and take time to mend my self-inflicted injuries.

Yet, waiting at the MRT station with Jason, Terrence and Jun Yean, she waved to me and mouthed "bye-bye" to me in the most friendly and cheerful manner I have ever seen, as her train disappeared into the distant.

I don't know what to think anymore. Best be on my way to sleep.